For those of you who have been praying for me, thank you. Sincerely, it is much appreciated! You are a part of God using me here. It has been foggy in the day-to-day in seeing how the Lord is using me, but He has definitely encouraged me amidst the trials I've been facing (James 1). I will share a few short stories of ways He has encouraged me!
A few months back, I was having an extremely discouraging day for various reasons. Most of the discouragement was inward, so I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and take a walk around the city (something I like to do from time to time). I ended up walking up to the temple, and sat in front of it with my ipod playing praise music. My mind was pensive, and melancholy together, as I mindfully talked to God and asked Him what impact I was even making in Utah. (How little my faith is!) (How easily I forget!) After spending a few moments at the temple, I decided to head back down through the city, continuing to listen to my ipod's worship music to attempt to get my mind in a better place. Strolling past the city library, a disheveled-looking homeless-like man stepped out of the front doors and caught my attention by giving me a friendly wave, and proceeding to tell me (from a distance) that he had something to tell me. (Might I remind you that my ipod was still playing music, but I was able to hear him tell me this from far away). My pace slowed to a hault as he drew nearer, making eye contact. I was not uncomfortable with this man, though I should have been, (being that he was a stranger), so I let him speak to me. He walked up to me, said nothing, and gently but firmly took my hand to put it out in front of my body. His eyes were clear (not on drugs), and his mentality was stable, as he finally said, "I know you are angry at the world right now; but you have a future." He reaffirmed me again saying, "You have a future." I asked him who he was, and he said it didn't matter. What he told me, at that specific timing, was what I needed to hear, though I had no idea that simple sentence was what I needed to hear. I realized that this man had spoken a promise to me, one that aligns with Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future..." This particular verse has held much weight in my life thus far, as it has been my foundation of hope through the Lyme Disease suffering. So of course when he spoke this to me in my discouragement, and lack of hope, it meant so much!
Well, this story continues....I thanked that man, (after breaking down into tears on the sidewalk right in front of him...I know, kind of embarrassing) and continued my walk back to my starting point. About 3 steps after I had left that man, another man came walking right beside me. He asked me if I was alright, and my response was immediately on gaurd, being that he was a stranger. He told me that I didn't need to cry, and that whatever it was that was bothering me, that I didn't need to be crying about it. He was sure of this. Then he asked, "Are you a Christian?" A little taken back, though very curious as to why he was asking me this (taking into mind what had just happened with the other stranger) I responded that I was, and asked him the same. Turns out this man was indeed a Christian, who had recently moved to Salt Lake. He shared with me that he had been attending the LDS church for the previous three weeks, however, out of pursuit for a woman that he was interested in. Right away, I was straightforward with this man, informing him that the Mormon church, though using the name of Christ, was in fact not Christ-following. He needed to know this, because I could tell by the way that he was talking that he was unaware of this. And, my greatest heartache here would definitely be to see an uninformed "baby Christian" looking into the LDS church as an option. We had an extensive conversation there on the sidewalk of the busy street, and as it came to a conclusion, this man told me that he strongly felt that our meeting was, in his words, "divine intervention." He proceeded to explain that he was not even supposed to be out on a walk that day, that his schedule for work was changed, but that he just had decided to go on a walk, and randomly met me. He could not get over this occurrence, and kept saying things such as, "you have informed me of a road of destruction," and over and over saying it was "divine intervention" and "what he needed to hear." Wow.
At the time, this all seemed a little surreal, this chain of events on the street, but as I had a chance to reflect later that night, I could totally see how, what seemed to me, the Lord was encouraging me. It made sense that he would use the first man to speak to me a simple promise that I have a future (to lift my head), and immediately after that, the Lord was showing me that He indeed was still using me for good here (with speaking truth to the second man.) So, in hindsight, God encouraged me and used me. Oh, how much He loves me and is taking care of me!
From this day I truly realized (which I needed to) that my faith is so little! I know that God is so patient and merciful with me amidst that. It is evident. He shows up just at the right time! I will never forget this day.
For a further update with recent events, I have been a full-time employee at Whole Foods in the bakery department since March. The crowd of co-workers there are all x-mormons, so I'm getting a good taste of the Utah counter-culture...which has...a very, very bitter taste for anything to do with religion. I sense a large amount of hurt and mistrust. It has been quite the challenge to be surrounded by this 40 hours a week, as the lifestyle of these people have been SO extremely rebellious (mostly with the homosexuality and partying). I know that Jesus is giving me grace to handle this...that is the only way. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to handle it!
My health needs prayer, as the fatigue seems to be getting to me. It's definitely the thorn in my side! I have found excellent rife treatment (for the Lyme) in park city which I am so pleased with. I've been taking a lot of hiking trips since my knees have been stable, which has been SUCH a joy to have! It is one of my favorite activites to do here. Although I am still suffering in the body, the Lord has provided means within that for sure, and it is so evident. Praise the Lord!!
"God has eternity before him. Only God has security. It is for us to follow humbly wherever God wants to lead, and blessed are those who stay faithful to the ways God inspires them to go and who do not, in order to please others, live with an uneasy conscience in the place where others believe security is to be found. Leave your kindred, cast off your false security, be converted to the Lord. That is the road without end of our faith's pilgrimage." - Oscar Romero
